Disclaimer

I feel I’ve been misunderstood. Normally I wouldn’t care, but this has just led to way more controversy than I’m comfortable with.

So I thought I would provide a brief explanation of everything Kathleen. Okay, most definitely not everything, but certainly a huge part of my heart and soul:

My sense of humour. (Yeah, I did spell it the British way, and naturally, I only did that for the controversy.)

Which is obviously a huge chunk of who I am because I’m hilarious… 

Anyway, I love irony. It’s how I function. How I deal. How I love. How I hate. How I do.

How do I incorporate irony in my everyday life?

·      Blog Posts

·      Facebook Statuses

·      Pictures

·      Ideas

·      Interpersonal Communications

·      Intrapersonal Communications

And you people aren’t getting it! It is quite wearisome having to explain myself all the time. It defeats the purpose. You people.

So that leaves me with a few options:

1.    Continue explaining myself

2.    Stop explaining myself and accept that people are going to think I’m either (a) a pretentious douche bag or (b) a moron.

3.    Quit Irony Cold Turkey (and right before Thanksgiving too? I’m not sure about this option…)

I don’t really like any of the above options, so they’re not gonna happen.

But this blog post is happening. So consider this my disclaimer. (Oh, and I’m still considering getting that sarcasm bell. I really think that would work wonders.)

Warning: I’m ironic. And hilarious. And hot. And humble. (Yay! Irony!)

I would also like to provide a shout out to the people who do get my irony. I don’t know where I would be without you. Probably friendless. So thanks! ; )

Expectations vs. Reality

I really love that mainstream-indie film 500 Days of Summer. (Oh, hipsters, does that oxymoron bother you? I’m sorry. Sarcasm Bell.)
Yeah, you know it.

I think it’s quite the little gem, although, don’t even get me started on Zooey Deschanel…she’s so boring. Yeah, yeah, I get that these are fighting words, but I will stand by them…I digress.

There are so many great things about this movie from the witty screenplay to the awesome soundtrack to the unique art direction, but I must say that one of my favorite scenes in that entire movie and probably one of my favorite scenes in a movie ever is the “Expectations vs. Reality” scene. Genius. Absolutely genius. I think the whole concept should be its own movie.

If you haven’t seen 500 Days of Summer, let me give you some insight on this particular scene. You honestly don’t need to know the plot to understand it. At this point in the movie, the screen is split into two screens, and one screen is labeled expectations, while the other screen is labeled reality, and the scene is played out as such for the main character Tom: His expectations and the actual reality. The two different scenes start off so strikingly similar, and then the subtle differences start to come into action. How genius!?

The reason why I love this scene so much is because it is so relatable. Do we not imagine our expectations every day? Have in our mind exactly how our day is going to look?

I am going to study for this test and obviously get an A.

I am not going to say something stupid today and embarrass myself.

I am going to go on a hot date, and we’re going to drink hot tea and talk about good music, good films, Harry Potter, Jesus, college football, appreciate each other’s irony, and we’ll just be hot.

My day is going to go like this and this and this. Right?

My point being, we all do it. We all have these expectations. And these expectations we set up for ourselves hardly ever reflect what reality actually looks like. And we know why. Because life is unpredictable. We can’t control it no matter how hard we try. Oh, you don’t like that? Tough. So let me quote Remy from Ratatouille on this topic,  “The only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability.” (You better believe I just cross-referenced Pixar.) So you better get over it. And no, I’m not going to tell you to stop building expectations. That’s just silly. We’re human. It’s what we do. I’m just going to tell you that life’s most likely not going to happen the way you set it up in your head. I personally love that because it keeps me guessing! I appreciate the unpredictability of life. Sadly that means I haven’t been on a hot date where we talk about all of the listed above, but where’s the fun in me planning that. Sigh, expectations…

Yes, sometimes reality sucks.
But that’s okay because that makes the moments where reality is actually better than your expectations even sweeter.

Muse me.

Writer’s Block.
It sucks.
You know what’s worse than writer’s block?

Apathy.
Writer’s Block is the lack of ideas.
Apathy is the lack of passion. I think lack of passion is arguably one of the worst things in the world.

And I’m feeling it right now. Rather not feeling it.

If you know me, you know I thrive on my feelings. I thrive on my passions. That’s what motivates me to write. That’s why I write. Because I feel. And because I’m passionate enough about topics to give them the attention I think they deserve.

And if you really know me, you know my writing is only a mere reflection of how I act. Phew, if you can only imagine that! I’ve got that strong-willed spirit going on. At least that is what I like to call it. Others might call it interestingly dramatic. Still others might call it too much. Love it or hate it, that’s me.

So not feeling and not caring and not having anything to have expressive opinions about is KILLING me.

And I guess this is my lame excuse for my lack of posts recently.

I need a muse.

With the Values of a "Liberal"

I find some offensive jokes funny.

I don’t apologize for offending; I apologize for hurting.

I find controversy necessary.

I like having my own opinions, and I like my own opinions. I like that you have your own opinions, even if I don’t necessarily agree with all of them. In fact, I like disagreeing with your opinions, and I like that you disagree with my opinions too.

I don’t like censorship. 

Truth is truth.

I don’t think everything is black and white. I think there is a lot of gray in this world.

I love Harry Potter.

I watch R-rated movies. I like a lot of them. I don’t like a lot of them.  

Cussing doesn’t offend me.
I stand by my convictions.

I have Journalistic values. Some might call me liberal. I call myself a humanitarian.

I like having the freedom to make my own choices even if I don’t choose to act on all of them. I’m not one to judge. I think you’re entitled to make your own choices. I like to call that little treasure of choice free will. I like to call that gift of free will love. I like to call that love Jesus.

Yes, I am a Christian with liberal values.  

Banjos: My Achilles' Heel

Some girls are suckers for guys who play the guitar. I, on the other hand, am a sucker for guys who play the banjo. I'm obsessed! The banjo is such a beautiful and unique instrument. Take me to a bluegrass concert with guys who can really jam out on the banjo, and you will find me swooning.

I know, I know, the banjo does not have the best reputation thanks to that good ole’ movie Deliverance. (Cue “Dueling Banjos.”)

And also, many people associate the banjo with southern bumpkin country music, and I know how most people feel about that...

But trust me when I say that the banjo is so much more than that! It really is a lovely instrument. It just needs a good musician to accentuate its beauty. Allow me to introduce to you my top five favorite swoon worthy banjo players.

1.     Sufjan Stevens

Oh, Sufjan, my love. I can go on and on about this man, but I will try to keep it brief. I really have Sufjan to thank for my love of the banjo. There is something so pleasant and soothing about the way he plays the banjo. Not to mention the banjo looks awesome paired with giant wings. But seriously, check out the songs “Seven Swans” and “For The Widows In Paradise; For The Fatherless In Ypsilanti” if you want to be blown away.

2.     Winston Marshall (Mumford and Sons)

Thank you so much Mumford and Sons! You guys have done so many great things for the banjo reputation! You guys are kind of a big deal, and I must day, I think you deserve it. And I want to specifically thank Winston because people now know that the banjo can be more than that creepy music from Deliverance and southern bumpkin country music. It can be folky and awesome.

3.     Scott Avett

First off, I like his beard, but that is beside the point. Like Winston, he has proved that the banjo can be folky and awesome. He sure does rock that banjo. Oh man is he soulful. I think that is the best way I can describe him and his banjo.

4.     Andy Bernard (The Office)

“Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes.” -Andy Bernard

Replace singing show tunes with playing a banjo and you got me.

Words cannot describe how much I would love Andy Bernard even if he didn’t play the banjo, so the fact that he plays the banjo (and sings show tunes) makes me love him even more. Trust me, that is a whole lot of love. What’s not to love about a goofy, fun guy who plays the banjo? On top of all that, he covers Kermit the Frog which brings me to my last point.

5.     Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog can serenade me any day he wants to with “Rainbow Connection” on his banjo. Miss Piggy has got herself a man! Talk about the original. I am speaking for all of the above, but I am pretty sure Kermit the Frog inspired all of the above mentioned men to learn how to play the banjo (I know he inspired Andy for sure!) Thank you Kermit! I don’t know where my musical tastes would be without you.

So there you have it folks.  The banjo is so much more than creepy, country, and bumpkin. Although I will admit, in the wrong hands it can be all of that, but in the right hands, it is so much better! And I think you will find the right hands are mentioned above. Don’t hold onto those preconceived notions about the banjo, and check these guys out!

Sigh… Banjos.

The Real, The Fake, and The Absurd

Oh, my major you ask?
I am a Journalism and Sociology major.

…

Yes, that’s your cue.

Go ahead. Ask it. I know you want to.

Okay, I’ll ask it for you.

“What are you going to do with THAT?”

I am so sick of that question! I am not worried about it, and you shouldn’t be either-person I just met.

You can laugh too. I mean it wouldn’t be the first time.

Or Gawk.

Oh, this is my favorite reaction. Journalism is not going to exist in the next few years.(Thanks for the support Grandma!) It is becoming obsolete. Umm News Flash! (see what I did there? Most definitely not becoming obsolete) Just because journalism is now heavily online doesn’t mean that it will not exist anymore. People are nosy! We need to know what is going on or else we won’t survive! Journalism is going to be just as alive 20 years from now as it was hundreds of years ago. Okay, let me step off my soapbox and get on with my post.

The point is I am sick of this outward judging of my life choices. You can inward judge me all you want. Because I don’t really care what you think. Oh, was that harsh? Well so was laughing at my majors.

So to prevent the outward judging, I have designed a plan. I mean “not to toot my own horn” or anything, but I think it is a pretty good one.

My plan: I have 2 hypothetical majors and my 2 actual real ones. I will share these majors dependent on who I am talking to and my mood. Allow me to elaborate.

The Real:  Journalism and Sociology

This is reserved for people I will most likely see again. And people I can actually see myself developing a sustainable friendship with. They deserve the truth, I guess.

The Fake:  Pre-business- Marketing

This is reserved for adults and practical people.  Or people I just don’t feel like dealing with as they question my motives. I mean you can get a job with this! This is an extremely marketable (BOOM! I am on fire with the puns today) major. It is not as challenging to find a job with this major. What a practical major! I get the adult seal of approval. Yay! I tell these people this is my major, and I will get mmhmms and oh yeahs with some fervent nodding. No outward or silent judging is going on. Just sheer approval.

The Absurd: Sculpture

This is reserved for people I just really want to mess with. This is the one that is especially dependent on my mood. Do I really want to be judged at that moment? Do I really want to deal with the judgment? Sometimes, yeah, I am in that mood. Sometimes I just want to get a reaction. I want to cause turmoil. Is that bad? Probably. Do I care right now? Not really because this makes my real major look at least 1.5 times better. Right?

So this is my plan. I think it’s a pretty good one.

*Oh, and by the way, no amount of judging or what you say is going to change my mind. I am a pretty stubborn person. I have my mind set. Do I know exactly what I am going to do after I graduate? No. I don’t. Does that bother me? Nope. So really, it shouldn’t bother you either.

;)

Road Trippin'

My good friend Kelsey told me that I should write a book titled How to Make a Road Trip Last Forever. I might take her up on that, but like all of my best ideas, or other people’s best ideas for me, it shall end up on my blog first.

I like to pump people up when they first get into a car with me, so I tell them “Every car ride is an adventure with Kathleen.” Which is true, but perhaps they should take it as a warning. The word adventure might be a euphemism for what they are actually about to be involved in. I am not saying I am a dangerous driver. Because I’m not. The safety of my passengers are first and foremost the most important thing to me as a driver. Not the destination, but the safety, which is perhaps why my car rides are always an adventure. And when I say that I am a safe driver, that doesn’t mean I am a grandma driver because, well, that is no fun. In fact, I am a “cop approved speeder.” I drive 10 miles per hour above the speed limit for the most part. (more when I am by myself, but that is besides the point) A police officer told me that I should not be pulled over for going 10 miles per hour above the speed limit, hence why I am a “cop approved speeder.” I digress.

Anyway, I am not particularly good with directions. And when I say I am not particularly good with directions, I mean I am really bad with directions. And understanding the road signs on the interstate. And reading a map. I just can’t. So I need a navigator. It is absolutely necessary for me to have a navigator or else I will find myself at an abandoned truck stop sobbing in my car because I have no idea where I am, not that that has actually happened or anything… So to prevent that from happening, I need a navigator. Naturally, I have a GPS system. Her name is Cheryl, and she has a rather unpleasant accent and attitude. She is no Monika (my old GPS system that was stolen). She can sometimes be more destructive than I am, but we have a love / hate relationship. She does always get me where I need to be, just not always in the best way or in the shortest amount of time. I guess I do need her because she is more knowledgeable of directions than I am, even if sometimes she does get confused like me.

I have decided to include a few Kathleen approved tips on how to make a road trip last forever which will be included and expounded upon in my book.

1.     Interpersonal Communication? What’s that? Avoid a human navigator. The person in the shotgun position should be just as clueless as the driver.

2.     Always listen to your GPS system, never your gut instinct.

3.     Never turn around when you miss a turn, take the 20-minute detour down the cemetery back roads.

4.     Make excuses!

That is just to name a few.

And I will leave you with one last thought. A friend of mine once said, “If you are looking for time, don’t ride with Kathleen, but if you are looking for a quality ride, you should definitely ride with Kathleen.”

So you tell me. What is more important? Time or quality? I think the choice is easy.