Road Trippin'

My good friend Kelsey told me that I should write a book titled How to Make a Road Trip Last Forever. I might take her up on that, but like all of my best ideas, or other people’s best ideas for me, it shall end up on my blog first.

I like to pump people up when they first get into a car with me, so I tell them “Every car ride is an adventure with Kathleen.” Which is true, but perhaps they should take it as a warning. The word adventure might be a euphemism for what they are actually about to be involved in. I am not saying I am a dangerous driver. Because I’m not. The safety of my passengers are first and foremost the most important thing to me as a driver. Not the destination, but the safety, which is perhaps why my car rides are always an adventure. And when I say that I am a safe driver, that doesn’t mean I am a grandma driver because, well, that is no fun. In fact, I am a “cop approved speeder.” I drive 10 miles per hour above the speed limit for the most part. (more when I am by myself, but that is besides the point) A police officer told me that I should not be pulled over for going 10 miles per hour above the speed limit, hence why I am a “cop approved speeder.” I digress.

Anyway, I am not particularly good with directions. And when I say I am not particularly good with directions, I mean I am really bad with directions. And understanding the road signs on the interstate. And reading a map. I just can’t. So I need a navigator. It is absolutely necessary for me to have a navigator or else I will find myself at an abandoned truck stop sobbing in my car because I have no idea where I am, not that that has actually happened or anything… So to prevent that from happening, I need a navigator. Naturally, I have a GPS system. Her name is Cheryl, and she has a rather unpleasant accent and attitude. She is no Monika (my old GPS system that was stolen). She can sometimes be more destructive than I am, but we have a love / hate relationship. She does always get me where I need to be, just not always in the best way or in the shortest amount of time. I guess I do need her because she is more knowledgeable of directions than I am, even if sometimes she does get confused like me.

I have decided to include a few Kathleen approved tips on how to make a road trip last forever which will be included and expounded upon in my book.

1.     Interpersonal Communication? What’s that? Avoid a human navigator. The person in the shotgun position should be just as clueless as the driver.

2.     Always listen to your GPS system, never your gut instinct.

3.     Never turn around when you miss a turn, take the 20-minute detour down the cemetery back roads.

4.     Make excuses!

That is just to name a few.

And I will leave you with one last thought. A friend of mine once said, “If you are looking for time, don’t ride with Kathleen, but if you are looking for a quality ride, you should definitely ride with Kathleen.”

So you tell me. What is more important? Time or quality? I think the choice is easy.