Sunday, September 11, 2011

No, I Don't Have an iPhone.


Everyone and their mom has an iPhone.
Except me.

But really. My mom has an iPhone and not me.
She did tell me that once the new and improved iPhone upgrade comes out that I can have her old and decrepit ancient iPhone, and she will get the upgrade. Gee, thanks mom for your outdated gift. (But really Mom, I don’t mind! Really.)

Without an iPhone, you are behind the ages my friends, let me just tell you.
I am hanging out with a group of people, no big, and there always comes a time when you are chilling more than you are talking. So naturally everyone pulls out their iPhones except for me because I don’t have one. They start cruising the internet, finding out what is going on in the world, facebook stalking, and I am just lost. Hmm, who can I text, so I can be cool and on my phone like everyone else? No it doesn’t work that way.  So I am just the girl sitting in the corner without all the information.

Emphasis on the without all the information. I am on a need to know basis and a must know what is going on at all times without anyone actually knowing that I want to know this information agenda, so yes, an iPhone would come in handy.
Also I like sharing facts to make my stories more credible. You know I like to tell stories. (see The Rules of Storytelling post) Sometimes I am stretching for information, and I can’t remember all the facts so I think, “Hey, I need to google this stuff.” Wait. I don’t have internet on my phone.

And what about those times when I have that name or fact on the tip of my tongue, and it is just not coming. I have to wait in misery until I am back and around a computer to look that up. It is not a fun feeling. Trust me.

So needless to say I am behind the times. I am probably missing something really big here. Some feeling of entitlement that only belongs to iPhone holders. Man, I am on the outs. I feel like once I get my mom’s iPhone, I am going to be so far behind in this generation of iPhone holders that I will already be too far gone. There is probably no hope for me.

Oh well, I will just stick to my little blue Intensity II. Yes, the Intensity II. A very fitting phone for me, don’t you think?

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