Band Names

I’m really into music, but that’s old news.  Does that count as a hobby? It’s all perspective. And that’s life.

Although, I do enjoy doing one particular thing that I know absolutely counts as a hobby. Obscure as it is, it is still a hobby nonetheless. In fact, I would love this to be my career, but who actually makes a living out of their obscure hobbies? Mark Zuckerberg (made a living out of screwing people over. Obscure enough? … I still love you Marky Z!) He is the exception, not the rule. I digress.

Anyway, I know you are squirming in your seats to read about my obscure hobby, so I won’t let you suffer any longer.

And that hobby would be…

Creating band names!  So. Much. Fun. And all humility aside, I would say that I am pretty rockin’ at it. (See what I did there?)  

The name is the heart and soul of a band. I mean who really cares about the music and lyrics anyway? Psh. It’s all about the name. Shakespeare didn’t know what he was talking about when he had Juliet say, "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Does anything Juliet say really have any validity at all? Homegirl was 14, so I’m going to say no. Not to mention, she killed herself over a pretty boy. Girl, please. I digress again!

Band names. Heart and soul.

But really, people should hire me to do this stuff for them.

But since people are not hiring me to do this stuff for them, I have found other ways to put my hobby to use.

The most obvious way is that I create fake bands. Easy enough. I get real with the members. The Golden Rods are my love child. We have Luke Lawrence- lead vocalist and guitarist, Alex Banner on bass, Jared Uldridge rocks the keys, and Derek James owns the sticks. Solid band.

Another way I like to put to use band names- You are in a group of people and something happens that you feel the need to include your commentary, but you don’t want to be too blunt, so you throw out a band name.

For example, your friends Ricky and Leah have been extreme flirting all night. You’ve got the classic banter and the obvious tension.

So what do you say? “Hey guys, have you heard of that band Sexual Tension? They are owning it this year.”

Another example would be when you are talking to those people. And by those people, I mean the ones that you don’t really connect with at all and find yourself fighting the Mongols to make conversation. So what do you say? “Hey, this reminds me of this one song, ‘Forced’ by this amazing local band, Small Talk. Have you ever heard of them?”

Band names. They are great. Great for a band’s integrity. Great for conversation. Now if only people could pay me to do this. But they aren’t, so I’m in college, studying liberal arts.