Do you ever have those moments where you relive all of your
most humiliating moments in a span of seconds? Yeah, me neither.
However, if I did ever have those moments, I could only
guess what those moments would feel like. And based on my extraordinary imagination,
I know those moments are quite the phenomenon of shame that I like to call the “Ball
of Shame.”
In my studies, I have found that the Ball of Shame is most
likely to occur due to humiliation, but it is not limited to only that and may
occur in two other circumstances.
1. Ball of Shame: Humiliation Edition
This is the phenomenon most previously
noted. These only last a span of seconds, but you somehow are able to relive
every embarrassing moment you have ever had since shame entered your life. The
most embarrassing of those moments from your life seem to be played in HD in
your mind. I don’t know how it’s possible for this to happen in a span of
seconds, but it does, and it’s rough. Those seconds last for an eternity.
Unfortunately, this most often occurs spontaneously, and the trigger is often
irrelevant.
For example, you are walking to class one
day and you see a mailbox. The mailbox reminds you that you need to send back
your Netflix DVD. The Netflix DVD reminds you of how you spent your Saturday. You
watched the movie that night, but most of your Saturday was spent at the
homecoming football game. At that homecoming football game you got hungry and
went to buy some fries. You got in line at the concession stand and realized
you were standing behind the guy you sit next to in your Economics class. The
guy turned around and said hey. Excited, you returned his greeting. He gave you
a confused look and then gave you a slight but awkward head nod, and then
proceeded to have a conversation with the guy standing behind you. All of this occurs to you as you are walking to class
because of that stupid mailbox. You think of that one humiliating moment that
happened the last Saturday and every other embarrassing moment you have ever
had flashes before you in a matter of endless, excruciating seconds.
2. Ball of Shame: Regret Edition
This happens when you are reminiscing about
life and you think about something you most recently said or did that you
regret. This most often occurs when you are alone and finding ways to waste
time. Normally the trigger for this occurrence is much more obvious than the Humiliation
Edition because you are clearly asking for it. For example, you are probably sitting
alone in your dorm room and Facebook stalking yourself. This is
self-destruction at it’s finest. You will find and remember things you regret,
and then you find yourself in the Ball of Shame.
3. Ball of Shame: Gob Bluth Edition
Do the words, “I’ve made a huge mistake,”
ring any truth to you? This is very similar to the Regret Edition, but on a
much more immediate and on a larger scale. This Ball of Shame occurs immediately after you've made a huge mistake
and you realize you can’t do anything to fix it. It’s done and all you can do
is the Ball of Shame.
The Ball of Shame looks a lot like this:
The Ball of Shame: A real and frightening
phenomenon.
You’ve been warned.
